The Confidence Hack That Changed My Public Speaking

This week’s episode is a real one.

I’m talking about pitching Bizzy Bean, public speaking, and how crazy it is that in my mind I love attention and speaking… but my body reacts like I’m being hunted for sport.

We get into the pressure of walking into rooms and pitching your business, the hacks I’ve learned for public speaking, and why I stopped trying to “act confident” and started showing up as my future self instead.

I also talk about dealing with negative comments, people telling me my idea is too saturated, or straight up saying it won’t work, and how easy it is to let that get in your head if you let it.

Plus, how I pull myself out of a funk when I start spiraling, from movement, journaling, crying, buying myself a little treat, and learning how to reset instead of staying stuck there.

Basically: how to keep building when people doubt you, and sometimes when you doubt yourself too

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hey guys, welcome back to BusyGirl Era. I'm so excited for today's episode. I was taking a long time to brainstorm and think what I wanted us to talk about. I also keep putting polls out, questions, questions on my Instagram stories. So if you guys haven't followed yet, make sure you follow Busygirl Era on Instagram or my own personal Instagram. I also post on there too at Maya Selena's because I like hearing from you guys and hearing what you want to see out of these episodes and seeing what I can take of any of the knowledge or riftbacks or people I know, what I've learned to share my stories with you guys, and also random rants, chats, all of it. So today, today's episode really came to me because it is very relevant in my life, what's going on right now and business focus, but more than that, it's about struggles of being a woman in business, and also it's been such a crazy couple of weeks. Like, I feel like that one clip of Deppy Ryan, where she's like, hopefully, someone gets what I'm talking about. When she's on the red carpet for some like Disney event or something, and she's like, I just feel like I've lived a thousand lives today. That's what these past two weeks have felt like. If I just sum it up, every day is so chaotic and different. Actually, that's a lie. There's some days where I have just been so completely wiped out, and that's also what I wanted to share. There's so many behind-the-scenes moments where I have been getting very discouraged lately when it comes to starting a new business venture idea or really anything. It's really scary to be vulnerable and put yourself out there. And I've learned a lot about myself in this process. So I yeah, a lot I want to talk about. A lot of cool people I've interacted with the past couple of weeks, and I've heard so many stories of disinspiring women that I look up to that have told me things that I'm like, this has got to be this next episode. Like I I am dying to talk to guests, and I have so many people lined up and also people that they don't even know yet that I do want them to be a guest. So I'm hoping that they say yes also. But I just have so many different guests and ideas and something uh kind of secret planned. I was actually gonna announce it this episode, but then I was like, no, I want it to be I need to just show you guys. So I'm hoping within a couple episodes that I can also show you something that I've been working on, and it also has to do with getting guests on the podcast, so I won't say a lot about it, but just know I really am excited to have guests on. And I actually have my first one planned. It just comes down to the logistics of it all. Like one thing, spoiler for today's episode, one thing that I keep being told a lot by different female founders and business leaders, just people I look up to. Within this year, has the common theme has been people telling me in so many different ways when it comes to content, business. Literally, I can't stress enough. This has just been a message that I feel like the universe is forcing down my throat to not start when you feel ready because that's never gonna come. And that has really been prevalent, is that the right word? I don't know, whatever. Relevant within the past two weeks of people telling me that. And I was like, I just feel like oh my wrist just popped. I don't know if you guys were able to hear that. That hurt. Um, but I feel like that's really been relevant these past couple of weeks is people telling me to not start when you feel ready because you're never gonna feel ready. And that is how I'm feeling with having guests on. Like, I don't feel ready, I feel I feel a little nervy, and I'm a little bit scared that I bit off more than I could chew when I started second-guessing myself, but that has been playing in my head on repeat. So I'm excited to talk more about that. But before we get into any of that, I wanted to get into some life updates that again also tie into this episode title and what we're gonna be talking about today. If you guys are a new listener, also welcome, welcome to your busy girl era. Everyone is in their busy girl era some way, somehow. I'm trying to think of a good way to explain this. For some reason, and like I I'm only 25, so maybe, maybe there is a time where I quote retire because I just I just don't see myself retiring ever because I'm psychotic and take on way too many things. But I thought there'd be a some point in life where we just feel calm and like everything aligns and we're just chill and content. And the older I get and the more friends I make that are older, which is like very broad. My friends, like I literally have like 70-year-old friends. Like, I'm not I'm not joking or exaggerating. Like my friends all are all so different. But I've literally met seven old people that are just starting their I can't think of a better word than this, but it's kind of cringy, like hustle, their grind. And I've realized that everyone is in their own sort of busy girl era, like there is no moment in life where everything aligns, and well, I think there's times in life where everything aligns, but when everything's just calm and just we're not rushing on to the next thing. The people who I thought live that way, like they don't have it all figured out either, which is just really crazy to really crazy to realize. And that's part of the reason why this podcast is called Busy Girl Era, is because we are all in some way, some form, in our busy girl era, and I love talking to different people about that. And what's what's I can't not taking up the most of their time right now because that kind of sounds negative, but maybe just a hobby they're exploring. Like what is on their mind the most right now when it comes to their busy girl era? So when I have guests on, I kind of I kind of want that to be one of the main questions I ask them like how are you in your busy girl era? I don't know, still exploring that. That's kind of like the first time I've said it out loud. That's another reason I haven't had guests on yet. I I want to figure out the exact format and I want to also hear from you guys. So if you have any ideas, shoot them my way in the DMs and the comments in any and all, baby. So this episode and what we're going to talk about right now is life. What has been going on? Ah, life. So, good news, actually amazing news. If you guys do follow me on Instagram, I posted that I got second place in this pitch competition. And I have done a couple pitches within the past year. Yeah, and since launching my not launching my business, launching my business idea and telling more people about it. I have done, let's see, I remember my first pitch. My first pitch, I actually got second place in. Super exciting. Didn't win any money. It was just like a business class that I took, and they had us all compete at the end with like investors. And I pitched, I they asked me so many questions, and looking back now, like I just feel so stupid. Like I came with those only a year ago. Every year I and I've said this in other episodes before. I look back and I'm like, oh my gosh, I was so stupid like two years ago. And I'm like, will I ever stop saying that? No, I don't think I will. That is good. That's a good thing that we're always growing and evolving. But like, damn, does it suck? But I look back and I'm like, oh, I know I could have won if I if I knew then what I know now, but it doesn't matter. I digress. I got second place in the first competition, and I just remember my slides for my presentation, my pitch deck. There was so much missing in it. Like my competitive, what's that called? I can't even think of the name right now. The differentiation slide. It's the slide where you kind of show, hey, this is my product and how I'm gonna stick out from all the others, these other products that are on the market. It was so stupid. My one lasher that I got second place with, I was like, it'll just taste better. And I kind of just rolled with that. And I was like, I hope they don't question it. And yeah, that was stupid, but I still got second place. I think a lot of it was the fake confidence that I was pushing out there. And I also have learned a lot about public speaking throughout all these different pitches because I being a business major in college, we had to present a lot. Every class had so many freaking presentations every week it felt like I was presenting. And I kind of would go up there and play a character, and I and I did that last year when I got second place, and I did that in my next pitch. I was like, I'm going to play the character of some businesswoman who has their life together. And I think that works to an extent, but I didn't realize until recently there there was some disconnect happening, um, which I'll get to and how I'm starting to overcome it. But I'm focused, I'm focused, okay? The ADHD. She's not gonna ADHD today. That's a lie. So I got second place um last year, and then my next pitch after that was a really cool one. It was for something called Power Pitch. They look at a whole bunch of different women businesses, and you pitch to this panel of judges. And I feel like every time, and I'm not making excuses for myself. Well, I kind of am. Every time I've pitched, something happens. Like maybe I started my period that day. I remember the one I'm talking about now. I got like the worst sickness of my life. I thought I had COVID, which I've never had COVID before, but I was like, I am dying. I was losing my voice, and I remember pitching to the judges, and I was just like chugging water, and I was like, and yeah, that's mine. My voice was cracking so much. And but I did my best and it turned out really well, and I got first place. That was super exciting. I felt like justified in my idea, and that that was just such an incredible experience because I I remember thinking that I wasn't gonna place it all. They had all of us on stage, and then third place was announced, and I was like, well, shoot. And a lot of these other products, they're already they're not even products, but they're already out, they're services, people are already doing. So I just had all these negative thoughts going to my head. And I remember they announced second place, and I was like, okay, when they announce first place, Maya, just clap, smile, don't cry. And I'm just a super sensitive person. So I was like, how embarrassing would it be if I'm on this stage in front of hundreds of women and so many people out in the crowd, and I start crying. Then I started freaking myself out, and my eyes started getting teary-eyed because I thought, oh my gosh, like, don't I was so focused on not crying. I was like, are my what if there's something in my eye right now? And I started psyching myself out because that's what I do because I'm insane. Anyway, I got first place, and that was an amazing experience. Justified my idea more, gave me more confidence. And then the next pitch after that, what happened there? Oh, I didn't place it all. I did another pitch competition, and were the first, second, and third place winners, all won different amounts of money, and I didn't place it all. And I was against I was up against so many other businesses. A lot of them were men, and they were so much more fancier sounding than mine, I guess I'd say. They all focused on stuff just way higher than my IQ, honestly. Stuff about aerospace and using AI and having their own like banking systems. Like, I remember watching these pitches, and I was like, what the hell am I watching right now? Like, I'm sure they were doing a good job explaining it. It just went so far above my head. I was like, I'm just trying to develop these canned lattes. Like these people were talking about so many crazy, insane things in a good way. Like, I'm sure these sounded helpful and useful. I don't know, okay? I I couldn't even tell you what they were about. Someone asked me that the other day what the other presenters were like in my past competitions, and that's the first one I thought of, and I was like, I couldn't even tell you a single business idea. Like, I just sound like an idiot trying to explain them. Anyway, that was the last one I had done before this pitch competition that I did uh two Fridays ago. Two Fridays ago, I did this pitch competition, and I was excited for it when I heard about it. They said that they took some great presenters from their past conference not conferences, from their their past time they've done pitch competitions, and I was super flattered that I was involved in that. So at first in my head, I thought the same thing I always think, and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go up there, I'm gonna play a character, and I almost give myself a script to follow. That's what I had done in also honestly in college, I would like BS it a lot. There's sometimes I was just so last minute. I was such a progress I am a procrastinator to my core. But in college, it was like it was like no other. Like my frontal lobe was so far from developed, and I prioritized going out and having fun with my friends over nearly every school assignment, which side note is something I regret because I just didn't know what I really wanted to do with my life. Like, that's so hard going to college. First at 18, babies, I'm a baby now, but at 18, going to college, it's they expect you to know what you want to do. Some people do, good for them. I was like, marketing's fun loosely, that's it. So it's all these classes. Now I look back and like I am starting my own business, and there's so many classes, I'm like, oh my gosh, I wish I paid more attention in that. I I wish I paid more attention to all these business management classes, but I was doing like just enough to get A's and B's, and I got good grades, but I wish I actually focused on retaining the information instead of like what party I'm gonna go gonna go to tonight with my friends. So that's like one of my biggest regrets now that I'm like, uh sucky. Anyway, yeah, that's what I used to do when I presented in classes. I would always go up there and play character or be acid. Either way, I was like, I'm gonna go up there and pretend like I know what I'm talking about. I remember there was one time I I had a group presentation, my entire group forgot about it though. And then we all checked like Sunday night or something. We're like, holy sh we present tomorrow. We all hopped on Zoom at like 7 p.m. in a panic, trying to put together these slides. It was the most chaotic thing ever. I couldn't even tell you what it was on to. Like, I remember my whole entire group was just filled with procrastinators. I'm getting like I'm getting BTSD flashbacks. We were all such procrastinators, obviously, like we didn't realize until the day before. Like, not one of the four three other people in my group checked the calendar. Like, I get that we're all to blame, but oh my gosh, like how sad is that? And I remember we all hopped on Zoom and we were like, what's even our topic? And because we're such procrastinators, we had not even we had not even like picked our topic. It was just assigned to us because we hadn't chosen one yet. And it was like, I can't remember the acronym, like CRN, CR something, data. Something that's just so very not me. It wasn't fun marketing cutesy stuff that I like to do. And I remember we got up there and started presenting, and as I was presenting, I think I had an outer body experience. Like I'm pretty sure I blacked out. I don't even know what I was saying. I was reading the slides, I would look over and be like, that kind of sounds right. And I hadn't practiced at all. And this really is and does go to show you fake it till you make it, baby. Why do I keep baby so much? Fake it till I make it though, baby. And I remember I presented and we all like said our little parts. I did mine first because I'm always trying to get it out of the way. Like, I'm like, okay, let me get it out of the way because I know no one's really paying attention. Um, and I said my piece, and everyone else said their parts, and then we're like, questions? And it was crazy. We were one of the last groups to go out of the semester, and I remember my professor, I was like, he's about to re-mus. I'm in my head thinking, what is this man gonna say? And I also barely showed up to this class. I had I had senioritis, even though I was like, it was only like my third year. I blame COVID. Anywho, I remember that my professor said, What like what did you guys notice about this? And he said, You know what I noticed? I noticed what a great speaker Maya is. My eyes? I was like, first I didn't even know this man knew my name, and I was like, Whoa! Thank you. And then this is where it got super crazy awkward for the entire class, including myself, because I was like, What am I supposed to say to this right now? And he said, Maya, can you share some tips on how we can all be better speakers? For one, my ego is through the roof. My professor just said that I am one of like the best speakers in this class. Hell yeah! And then I'm like, I'm still in character mode though. Like once I get up there, I'm I don't know that girl. I'm a whole different person. And I'm up like you want to say on stage, not on I'm up. That's but that's how I pictured it in my head. Like that's what a psychopath I am. I was up there in front of the class, and I I was telling a f like a friend this story the other day, and I was trying to remember it because it was so it was such an uncomfortable feeling, but also it felt great to be applauded in that way. And that was like honestly one of the first times I was like, okay, like that I it was cool that even though I kind of like attention, I'm not one that goes out of my way to seek it out. That makes me very uncomfortable. If it's a presentation, a pitch, yeah, let's do it. I'll play this little character. But I'm not one to like go out of my way. So it was a skill that I didn't really realize or value that much until he brought it to my attention. And but then it got super uncomfortable because he's like, What tips? And I was like, shoot. And I was so honest with the class. Looking back now, they're probably like, why would we take advice from like up here for one and just this random this random ass girl? And I remember I told him, I was like, honestly, guys, like I don't know if this is good advice, but I just go up here and I play a character. Like I think of who I want to pretend to be, and then I come up here and I and I say that. And I was like, also, I am just a very loud person. Um and I I just feel like I'm yelling sometimes when I get pitches, but I've never gotten any comments of anyone telling me to be more quiet. And I told them like those two tips. And I remember there was kids in the back of the class like laughing at me, and uh again, I'm a psychopath, so I called them out and I was like, Don't laugh! Like I literally started pointing at kids in the class, and that came from a place of insecurity. I do know that, but like I was just like, don't laugh at me right now, I was so panicked. But this all goes to show that I had been playing a character for so long, it just became natural to me, especially if you guys are listening and you went to I'm sure just like college in general, like they just make you do so many damn presentations, and you have to go up there, and I just got such in the routine the habit of think of a character, like go up there and BS, BS, BS your way through everything. And it worked for a bit until it got to an idea that I'm passionate about, which is obviously Busy Bean, this business I'm starting of dairy-free canned lattes. It's extra vulnerable when you go up and pitch about something that you're passionate about because you're literally opening yourself up to just being criticized, and that's so terrifying, especially from I get that I'm an adult, but this panel of adults, like they're all usually very well off in their jobs that they're doing now, or they have like investors up there. That's such an intimidating experience, and yeah, it freaks me out, or even just uh if it's if it's to a panel of any judges, it's just so intimidating knowing that they do determine your if you're gonna get this grant, if you're gonna get this award, if you're gonna get, you know, anything like this, and it's such a scary experience. And I I didn't I thought I'd be able to go up there and play a character like I do, but I think it's because this idea is so passionate and close to my heart that I I started getting stage fright, which is something that I'm not used to. After going like decades of my life presenting to in school and classes and random things, I was not used to getting up there and getting stage fright. So that has been something I've been dealing with, and I found like some good hacks around it because the last time I had presented and didn't place, I was kind of hard on myself, but I was also like, what do I need to do? Like, there's just gotta be other ways that I can stand out from everyone else, no matter what their idea is. And also while I was presenting the time I didn't place, I I did feel off. Like inside my body, I felt like I was having an outer body experience. And I was like, I don't like that. Because even though I used to, and they used to be like my safety blanket, now when I go and to pitch competitions, I like reading off the room. Like, are the judges vibing with my idea? Are they not? Is the crowd because sometimes there's random people there also or like different students? So I was like, I don't like that. I want to try to be as present as possible. But in order to do that, I can't just ramble off this script that I have of you should try this coffee, it's so good for you. It's all these things. Like I felt like I was literally like a little robot before. So I was like, okay, I need to change, I need to change just my outlook on this. And I kept going back and forth in my head, even the day of this last pitch that I did last last Friday. I got there, and usually I get into the the room and it's just nerve-wracking. You get in there, you can literally feel everyone's energy in there. There's random students in there, and then there's the people that are pitching. And honestly, you don't know who's who when you walk in. And the past few times I walked in to these pitch competitions. I don't say hi to anyone, which is just not me. I don't shut up ever. And I love meeting new people. So this time I made a promise to myself that I'm going to be I I'm going to just try to be so aware that it makes me uncomfortable. And it was such a challenge. I walked in and immediately I wanted to revert back to how I usually am in these scary social social situations. And I didn't want to say hi to anyone. And that I literally had to go to the bathroom. Like I went inside, was nervous. I could feel my heart like boom boom boom boom boom. I was like, I need why am I so scared right now? Like I I felt calm, but I could tell I was just like building irritation in my mind. I was like, why am I why am I mad? Why am I why am I why do I feel just off? So I went in the bathroom. I literally just like shuck, shuck, I shuck. I shook my body out. I like moved my hands. I did like some high knees and my high pink heels. I'm so glad no one walked in while I was doing all this. And yeah, I literally just like sh shook my body out. And then I walked back inside and I said like some positive affirmations to myself. And I was like, I'm going, I'm going to go in as a character, but more than that, I'm gonna go in as like not some random character. I'm not gonna go in as someone I'm not. I'm going to go in of how I want my future self to react in these situations. So I walked in with that in my head. And from that moment, I honestly felt a huge shift. And I walked in and I greeted people. I was like, hey, how are you guys? How are you guys doing? I talked to random people. I introduced myself to people, which is something that started being really scary to me randomly last year. And now I'm trying to force myself in the habit of like if I see a friend I know, if I walk in a room and I see one person I know, but maybe they're talking to someone else, I feel like old me would have been like, Oh, they're busy, and like looked away. That's weird. I saw someone I vaguely knew, I went up to them, they were talking to someone, and I introduced myself to them. It was such a simple thing, but I feel like a lot of people around how was it our age? I don't know how old anyone watching and listening to this is, but I don't know there's so many people, even like everyone from grown-ass adults in their like 50s, 40s, 30s, like there's so many people I know that won't introduce themselves to me. Like if I'm talking to someone and they don't know me, there's so many people I know that go up to the other person, don't even make eye contact with me. And that always leaves me feeling kind of icky. So I just really don't want to be that person or looked at that way or think that I value someone else's time over the person next to them. So I've just really tried to make it a habit of going up to introduce myself to the person next to them. Also, if I don't know them, um and also I'm really bad with faces. So I never I never tell someone like, Oh, it's nice to meet you. So now my thing is I go up to people and I always say like, oh, it's nice to see you, or how are you? I swear it sounds more normal when I do it. At least I hope it does. If it sounds as awkward as it does right now, I'll cry. But no, I think it sounds, I think it sounds pretty good. I go up to someone now and I'm like, Hey, how are you? And or or nice to see you, because it kind of leaves it open for them to just be like, hey, I'm so and so, which has worked out every time that I have done it so far. And then even if even if I do know them, then it gives my brain like a few more seconds to register and be like, who is this person and why do I remember them or know them somehow? So yeah, that was the day going to the pitch competition. I'm still nervous though, and I kept telling people about this because I have learned to love public speaking, which is crazy. Like I didn't think I'd ever reach a point where I I I love it, but there was still some disconnect because I realized I love the attention. Okay, sue me. I said it. I like the attention of being up there and everyone's attention is looking at you. But in my body, like my mind likes attention. My heart feels like I'm being chased by a line every time that I get up on stage or in front of people, I feel like I am being attacked. Like my fight or flight mode kicks in, my body gets all red, and my legs start shaking. Like the second I went up there to pitch, I was like, oh yeah, I got this. Like I know, I know this information. This is this is my livelihood right now. This is I've done so much research. They ask me questions, I'm going to be ready for them. There's not much that I've can think that I would be like, I don't actually I don't have an answer for that. Like I have studied so much coffee-related content, everything for for for so long now. For like the past like two years, this has consumed so much of my interest, my time, my everything. So I it was so weird being up there and my mind being confident, my legs feeling like they are shaking. Like I remember while I was up there, there was the only time I was presenting that I didn't feel fully present is when I was like, holy crap, like my body is shaking right now. And from there my brain, I could feel it starting to spiral. And it because if it just ended there, I'll take that as being present still. Me noticing that my body is is shaking against my control. But then my brain started to spiral. And I was like, I was looking at people's faces, thinking, Oh, I wonder if they notice. I wonder if that girl right there can tell that my legs are shaking. That's why she's looking at me that way. Or maybe, and then I I I I whipped my head back to look at the the sc the present the the wish I could speak, the presentation screen behind me, and then that was my little shakeout moment. I took a second, I took a breath, and then I continued on. And it's just so easy for our brains to spiral. Anyway, though, the big hack that I learned for one, I still stand by that loose tip I gave in college to other students in the class when I told them to go up there and play a character. But I feel a lot more comfortable and it feels more genuine. Like it used to take so much energy out of me when I'd go play a character, I I wouldn't feel good. I do think it's true to an extent to play a character, but only if that character is who you actually want to be in your real life. Like me going into play a character now isn't I would think of celebrities or random people that I would look up to instead of thinking now like I do about how is my future self going to show up. And I've been learning a lot too about manifesting and the science behind manifesting. And a big part of it, like this is science, it's not me on my like woo-woo tangents, like I sometimes can get on. A big part of it is what you actually genuinely believe is going to happen. Your mind starts creating that reality around you more than that, more than your mind creating it. The reality has no choice except to reflect that back to you. So I was like, Well, I'm not going to go in pretending to embody someone that I know nothing about. I'm going to create this future self, my future ideal self, so then I can match that version of me. It's a little woo-woo, but it's science. Like it's literally proven. So, yeah, I that it just feels so much more natural, natural and genuine inside of me now when I do that. On top of that, there's another like pretty big hack that I found that I haven't really told anyone about actually. And usually, you know how people always tell you that you should picture the audience in underwear. That's weird. That's weird, you perfs. I, that has never worked for me. I get icked out and it just does not work. What has worked though is me. This is the first time I had ever tried it. The idea just came to me randomly. I looked at the judges who usually very, very intimidate me, and I looked at them and I started picturing all of them as children, which I feel like is easier for me to do with guys than it is girls sometimes. Like, there's something about grown-ass men that still have just like you can just so picture them of what they would be like when they were little kids, you know. So I was looking at these judges and I just pictured them as like toddlers. Like I pictured them as themselves, but as I was like, what would the younger version of them be like? Obviously, is it right? I'm psychotic enough that I do think the version I pictured of them in my head probably was how they were as toddlers. But I'm a lunatic. But when I was looking at them, this calmed my nerves so much. Like there was a time in their life when they were little wee babies, you know? And I don't know, we all are. Maybe this isn't gonna hit for someone as much as it does for me, but that was such a huge help once I did picture them all as little kids. I I was like, I'm just I'm presenting, I'm telling my idea to this room full of children. And that's how I looked at it, and it helped calm my nerves so much because I realized I was like, why do I care so much what these people think about me or think about my idea? At the end of the day, this is an idea that I'm passionate about that feels just really right. Like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna move forward with it, whether they give me money or or whether they don't. Would it be great to absolutely, but if they don't at the end of the day, like I'm still gonna move forward with my idea, and it just made it extremely easy when I was explaining it to children. After I presented, this was one of the first times I was like, I feel good. Like, I don't regret what I did up there because at the end of the day, it was me. There was no one that I could blame, there was no fake character that I could fall back on, you know. It was so it felt so much more genuine and real than it ever has before, which was really freaking freeing. So even though I was nervous and my body was shaking, having like made it through, I do feel like every time I have pitch, I just get like stronger and stronger and stronger mentally because damn these judges be coming at you sometimes. Which like I get that there's that's their job, but it still doesn't make it any easier. Like this company is my baby, my unborn baby pre-launch. And they'll ask you questions, and it's just it is hard sometimes. One of the questions that I got was what's gonna set me apart, not what's gonna set me apart. That was kind of one of the questions, but I had like a whole slide on it, unlike last time, where I just said it'll be yummy. And I had a whole slide of like breaking down my product compared to other ones on the market, which even that question in general, I do get a lot. There's a lot of people telling me or comments being like, This is stupid, this is a stupid product, which I'm just like, oh, that's mean. But they'll tell me that it's a stupid product, which is so crazy because when they say that it's stupid, it's usually them telling me also how there's already so many similar companies out there, and that's always extremely funny to me because ready to drink coffees, there's actually not a lot out there. Sure, like it's definitely on the rise, which is amazing. I'm so excited to see what other options do come out selfishly because I love coffee, but also the makeup like market is so saturated too, you know, when it comes to like bodies, lotions, skincare. Skincare is such a saturated market, but people still come out with skincare lines today, people still come out with nail polish, makeup, body lotions, body scrubs, like they all these products are saturated. It just all comes down to like finding your no, you know, your target market. But for some reason, when it comes to coffee, even though that's like one of the least saturated markets, people can drink every time I say markets. My gosh, people continue to tell me how saturated it is, which I'm just like, that's funny. Do you think people are just gonna stop coming out with coffees? And also, like, yeah, I could go on and on about that, and just like my product is different in so many ways, so it's just weird when they do tell me that stuff. I'm like, yeah, a lot of markets are saturated. Like, sorry, I'm not doing a product on aerospace and AI, but I know nothing about that. And another thing going along with that, one of their questions that's so hard for me to explain is when they ask, like, what's to stop this is one of the judges' questions. They asked me what's to stop someone like Starbucks from seeing how well your product does in the market and then stealing the idea from you and snatching it. Obviously, they didn't word it like that. I wish they did. That would make it so much more fun. And I it's hard to explain, and I feel like I get that it does sound kind of crazy, but I don't feel like people the target market I'm going for is a lot of people similar to me, where they value they value the brand more than uh I can't think of a nice normal way to say this. Like the big corporate bad guy, you know? Like if it's me, it am I going to choose Starbucks that has these crazy ingredients in it, or am I going to choose a woman-owned business, especially when it comes from selling it in a place like Bakersfield, like how I'm planning to start it, selling it. Which also to add to that, guys, ten places have agreed to sell Busy Bean before it's launched yet. Like, can we take a second for that? That is that's insane. My goal originally was to have 10 places in total selling it by the by six months into launching. So the fact that it's pre-launched and we've already had 10 stores. I ah which the 10th one they they just asked if they could sell Busy Bean um like three days ago. So it's just been so insane to see the support from the Bakersfield local community. And on top of that, just random places in like Orange County, Santa Clarita have reached out to carry the products and the Central Coast. And it's it's so cool. It's so cool to see my dream becoming a reality. I just can't wait for it to be physical in my hand and for you guys to try it. I'm just huh! I'm so so excited. And if you guys have many more questions about that too, like I love talking about well, actually, I don't love it right now because the product's not out, and sometimes it makes me sad, but I do love talking about it and sharing any information I've learned business-wise or just how I've had to communicate and in this industry and all the things that I'm learning. So if there's any specific questions you guys have on that, let me know so I can share them. Yeah, one of my big things I was trying to get across to the judges, which like they did agree with, like when they're like, What's gonna say, what's gonna stop them from stealing it? I was like, I don't know a non-conceited way to say me. Like anyone that comes out with any product, this isn't just, oh, because I'm Maya, this product's gonna do well and I'm going to sell a lot of it. No, no, no, no, no. That's not at all what I'm saying or what I mean by any of this. I just mean that anyone that comes out with a product or service, it's the person behind the brand that you are supporting. It's the company and the company's values. Like my can has positive quotes all around it. Like that positive uplifting spirit is something that I want to reflect in the brand. And honestly, yeah, am I going to choose a cute company values and brand over a large corporation? My main goal isn't to just be like sh over these like large corporations. Like everyone's open to think whatever they want to about that. But it's mostly just about finding a brand large or not that you do support. Like that's something really important to me and a lot of like my friends and the people I surround myself with. So that's the message I was trying to explain to the judges, but I feel like they were like, mmm, right. Which I was like, yeah, hopefully I didn't come off conceited, but you can only do what you can do. Anyway, I got second place in the pitch and was super excited about that because I won $2,500 towards Busy Beans um production, and that was really that was really gratifying because collectively I've raised a little over $12,000 for this idea. So it's really cool to that people support the idea and also believe in it, and that I've come far enough to back up my idea with these different statistics and things that I've learned has been so insane. It was it was really cool to to pitch in a way that I've never pitched before because I was also able to tie in my younger self to it. Like even the day of the pitch, I was looking at my outfits and I was like, what to wear, what to wear? Because I'm indecisive and also very last minute. So I had this little suit that I got from Express. I put on my cute little suit, but it just wasn't fully working. So I put I decided to put on steal my boyfriend's tie. He has a pink tie, and I put that on. And what's so funny about that is when I was 10 years old, I was obsessed with ties. I think I've talked about that in another episode. But yeah, I was freaking obsessed with ties, and I put that on me, and I was like, how cool would it be just to tie in tie in? I didn't even mean that. Literally to tie in part of my younger self to this pitch. Like I I I want to embody my future self, but I also like don't want to forget any of my I don't want to leave any of like my past self like humor, like wearing a tie, and that's freaking funny. What kind of child does that? I was like, I don't want to leave any of that like humor behind. I want to go into this using my the wit that I have. And even if it's like a little bit fake confidence and I feel uncomfortable up here, like I want to feel I want to feel more like me, because if I am preaching that what's gonna set my product apart is like the person behind it, then I need to show up as genuine as possible. I can't show up as a phony or a fake character like I used to before. Hopefully, all that makes sense and you guys aren't like this girl's just rambling on and on and on. I'm fast forwarding. But I really do think those are super helpful tips. If any not even in public speaking, just walking into rooms where you feel a little unconfident or anxious, even restaurants. Like, there's literally times I will go to like a cafe and I'm like, I start psyching myself out. I don't know why. And I do think it got worse after COVID, but I'll walk in somewhere, I'm like, what if I see someone I know? What if I don't see anyone I know? What if I what if there's someone I think I know? And all these ideas start spiraling in my head. But it's gotten so much easier walking into new places that I haven't been before or new environments. Maybe your friend invites me to their house for like a party and I start psyching myself out before I go, just trying to embody that ideal future version of myself and thinking like how would she show up? How would she act? Has been a real game changer for me, and it's been really cool. But yeah, so I got I won second place, super amazing. After that, it's really been a like a business forward past couple of weeks. After that, I was invited to the women's business conference, which if you guys don't know what that is, it's a conference, but they have a whole it's mostly women do attend, but like both men and women are there, and they have different booths there. Um, some of them are more community-based. There's like banks, there's I I I can't think of one booth that's not there. Like the variety of them is amazing. There's different like health clubs there. What else is there? There's so there's someone selling tasers, there's like dignity health is there, hospitals, podcasts, beauty. So literally anything you can think of under the sun is at this conference. And they also have a lot of motivational uh speakers, and they have different like workshops that you can take. So they have give you like a whole list of workshops you can take. Unfortunately, I didn't miss like the first part of it. I also had to leave early because I had a meeting. But what I did get to attend was, and I did have to leave early, but I did get to attend the main speaker that they had, which I have heard she's done some sketchy stuff. I don't know the facts, okay. I'm just going based off of the cool things she said while she was presenting. And it was the founder of the clothing line. Clothing line? I guess the company. It was the founder of Nasty Gal. And she, I remember, I didn't know she was the speaker. I remember seeing the name, being like, that's familiar. I'll learn more when I go. I just wanted to go in kind of like blank slate, you know? And I go in and then she starts talking about her company, and I was like, oh my gosh, I forgot that I used to be obsessed with this girl. She had this not Netflix documentary. She had a Netflix show kind of loosely based off her life with this actress that I really liked in it. I remember watching that when I was like 16, and that like igniting something in my brain of like having my own brand. So it felt like really weirdly full circle that she was the speaker at this event after like just you know coming off the high of winning this pitch. And and I did take a shot before. Oh, that's another good point. I took a shot before the pitch competition. If you guys do drink, that was also kind of calm my nerves a little bit. I do think there's other ways. Okay, I'm not like pushing, I'm not an alcohol pusher, but I I don't know, maybe it felt good to take a shot before. I had never done that before, but I probably would do again. Anyway, back to the conference. The keynote speaker, Sophia, forgot her last name, but Sophia, the founder of Nasty Gal did such an amazing job giving tips not only how she started, but things that she's doing now in business that I I had never heard before. And how she got started, and like while so many things have changed now, so much of it is still relevant today. Like one of her biggest tips, which I said at the beginning, when she was asked what she would tell her y younger self or female entrepreneurs or any entrepreneurs, is to not wait until you feel ready to start. She's like, there is no perfect timeline. There is no perfect timeline of like you're you're there's no you're too old, you're too young. Like you just you just start. There's not a time where you feel ready. And that I was like, dang, the universe really is forcing this down my throat. Like I guess I really needed to hear it. Because when it comes to the podcast, posting content, starting my business, I had this false thought in my head that there was a right time. Like I remember when I was working my nine to five job, I had told myself, once I reach this amount of money, I'm going to quit my job. And I did do that. I did like reach that amount, but then like a week later it dropped below that amount. So like, whoa. It there was no like I wasn't like, oh shoot, I should have, I should have made $2,000 more dollars. Then I'd feel happy. Like there was the number dropped below, and I was like, huh. Like Nothing nothing changed. Why was I waiting all this time to quit my job? Like there is no moment where you do feel ready. You just You just do it. Shout out Nike. Really has been such a strong message lately. So I'm like, surely that's getting forced for me to hear also so I can share it with different people too, like you guys. Like that's so insane. The amount of times that I've heard people say, do not wait until you feel ready because you're going to be waiting forever. That's insane. That's insane. And it's so true. Along with that, it's also crazy just her talking about the difference between men and women. Like how men, golf kind of is their networking sport. For one, it's like, you know, low-key a rich sport. Like it's it's an expensive sport to play consistently. But that's a lot of times like where men go to to talk about different business stuff and how women don't have something like that. I will she when she said that I did think there's actually a video I posted quite a while ago where I was talking about how Pilates is like the woman's version of golf. Like I went to a Pilates class when I don't go to a lot of them. I do love every time I do go because it feels like a networking time. Like even while you're working out, someone will be like, How are the kids, Laura? And it's like, oh damn, like we're talking about like random stuff right now. I don't know how they do it. Maybe, like, maybe that's why I'm not a huge fan of it because I'm too weak to be talking while I'm doing pulse, pulse, pulse. But I do think Pilates Loki is like the golf version of that. And it's just so crazy to hear other people's stories of like comparing their success as a woman to a man's. Just like your road to get there is so there's so many people that just look at you like you're a little girl. It's it's crazy. Also, a fact I learned the other day from listening to a podcast that Sarah Blakely was on, the founder of Spanks, is that women's, women's, the woman's, us women, could not get a business loan by ourselves until like the 1980s. That's insane. That is insane. I feel like so many times like history books just make it look like women's rights weren't like we got all these rights like so long ago. But it's like in reality, that hasn't been that long at all, which makes sense for just how things are going in my business and the things that I'm seeing and the treatment that I uh get compared to men. It's just so it's so interesting. And another thing too, I've even seen it just in like some of the pitch competitions is how the men get questioned differently than the girls do. Some of their questions, it seems like they go a little harder, not harder on the girls, but just that they doubt them more. Like I can hear it in the tone of the questions. The guys, it kind of seems like sometimes, and again, like everyone's different. I haven't had this experience in every pitching competition. But when I am able to see them question the the the people that are competing for the grants, I I I I've seen it myself, but obviously I'm biased. I'm like, okay, maybe they're just being mean to me. But no, I really saw it the like past few times that I've been going to competitions. I'm like, hmm, that is I don't know. It's interesting because also there's nothing that you can say about it, and like that would be a hard thing to speak up on. Like what what what would what's gonna happen if I say you're treating me different than them? Like, first they're gonna say no. But second, like I don't even think that they're aware of it. Like the language changes are so minuscule, but it's just their like intent behind the words they're saying. You can tell that they have more doubt in like the woman's ideas than the men's. And it's not everyone, but there are like some times where I do notice that out of the judges, and I'm like, hmm, okay, like this one might question me a little bit more. I'm going to have to prove a little more things. Or I've even like seen them ask girls more about their financials than the men. Oh my gosh, you know how cool it would have been if I would have like taken the little tally marks and been seen the comparison of like how many women they asked compared to how many men. I should have done that. Maybe I should start now. Because surely I thought I was done with pitch competitions. I don't know why. I just was just I didn't really see any upcoming ones, so I was like, oh, I don't really have any. And then this last one they told me about it like a month before, and I was like, shoot, I gotta redo everything, I gotta redo all these numbers. Crazy. Yeah, it's just something to take note of. But again, that's like one of the reasons why I'm pushing so hard for this business, is not just so, oh, I want to launch this business and be rich, and that's all. And that's not even that's not my main intention with this business at all. At first, I'm not gonna lie, I thought it was. When I when I had this idea, I had it in my head. I'm going to create a company, it's gonna be successful, and I'm gonna take care of myself and my family, and we'll all live this lavish life, you know, more or less. That wasn't like the main goal behind it. Obviously, it started with the idea and my passion for it, but I would be lying if I said that isn't something that I want, you know. Like no one wants to live paycheck to paycheck, and I feel like a lot of people's goals are to live better than the family members before them, you know. So that definitely was a part of it. I didn't think about it too much of like I am going to be rich. That's not my main goal with starting this business. But it was really came to my attention when my boyfriend actually asked me last week, I think. He said, Would you sell your business idea for a million dollars? And I was like, No. Which caught me off guard. As I said no, I was like, Bay, that is a million dollars. It's a hypothetical situation, but I take hypothetical situations very seriously. I was like, Why would you not sell your business idea for a million dollars? And I'm thinking this in my head. And then he said, What about ten million dollars? And I was like, in my head going back and forth thinking, Well, I should say yes, but genuinely I feel like I would say no. And I was like, No, but I don't know why. I would be lying if I said that doesn't roll around in my head every single day now. Because and I think I finally have an answer of why I wouldn't accept the $10 million, which is crazy. I know that a lot of people listening to this would be like you're insane, or think that I'm lying, but I really don't think I am. Like I'm I don't know, maybe if I was on like Beast Games or something, I would feel differently, but I just don't think I would take the money. And I was kind of beating myself up for days about it, especially the first few days because I thought I thought my goal was to, you know, take care of myself, my family, and all these things. And I felt kind of selfish. I was like, for this hypothetical question. We were just joking around, and I was here tearing myself up about it, thinking, why wouldn't I why wouldn't I do that? And it did really click to me that it's because I value the journey of it, like I value the experience over the money, which is psychotic to me, and I'm still coming to terms with it and being like, is that actually okay? I do think that it is because I would feel so uneasy giving my idea over to someone like that. Not that anyone's offering, okay. No one is offering me $10 million, but I will say people have been asking more about investing. Like I've had multiple people come to me and ask about investment opportunities, which freaks me the f out because months ago nobody wanted to invest when I was looking for investors. And now that I feel like I came to terms, I think, I hope, I honestly just am going off like gut feelings right now. And I my gut feeling right now is that I don't want to have investors in it, at least not at this moment. Which again, I'm like, I feel like it feels naive, but I just am really big on you know trusting my gut and my intuition and what feels right. But I just never thought that I would I never thought I for one would get investors actually interested. And and and I thought that I would say yes. Like that honestly came to a shock to me when I wasn't excited when they asked if they could invest or more questions about investing. I thought that I'd be like, Well, absolutely, and then jump on and ask some questions. But instead I was like, no, I feel like if anything, it's showing more than ever, then this is a valuable idea and then I can do this. So it is making me excited. And yeah, I'd be lying if I didn't say I was nervous that I'm making the wrong decision, but we live, we learn, we thrive. The last thing I wanted to talk about is the parts that I haven't been showing on social media, especially, or even talking to most people about when they do ask me how the coffee business is going, which was insane at the women's business conference. Within 10 minutes, like five different people came up to me and asked how the business was going. And it was after I had such a hard week, honestly. And the hard week, uh I'm trying to think of what to say exactly so I don't out anybody. Maybe I should out people. No, I'm not ready. I'm scared of that right now. A lot of my progress has come from networking with different people, which for a while I was like, what the hell is even networking? Like that was a fake word to me. So a lot of it's just like going, call picking up the phone, calling copackers or calling different people, or and then maybe getting somewhere and someone tells me, Oh, I don't know this, but my friend knows this. Hey, I heard you're working with coffee, blah blah blah blah blah. And it stems from there. And then a lot of times it's random meetings that lead to nowhere. And but there's like a 1% chance, maybe even less, it feels like sometimes, where they'll be able to connect me to someone else who I haven't heard about who can help me with my business, all that amazing stuff. What happens more times than not is I get ghosted. What happens slightly less times than that is I will meet with someone over the phone and or on Zoom, Google Teams. I don't know. I'm honestly losing track of how many sites like that there are or apps. But a lot of the times there will be someone just completely doubting my idea. And in the end, they they can't even help me, but they're reminding me, oh, the market's so saturated. Well, there's already products like this out there. You really think that you can do it? This person tried and they had failed. So much negativity, and I feel like I am someone that's so sensitive to people's energy, and when they're coming at me with negative energy, like I do feel it taking a toll on me. Like I am I'm very bad at blocking that out and not letting it get to my head. It's when it's comments, you know, it's one thing, like I can scroll, but it's so much harder when someone's telling these things to your face, when they are when you meet with them, even in person, not in person, like I don't know, it doesn't make it any easier or yeah, it doesn't make it any easier for me when they're telling me these negative things like uh it just brings me down like so much. And I thought that I was I I have been hit with a lot on social media, in DMs, and also over these meetings. And I I felt like I was moving on the right track. I was like, okay, I pretty much like have my formula, I have this stuff, I'm gonna move this way, like I have all these ideas, you know, and then to get hit without it felt like my energy was just like boom, boom, like being bounded on. So I wanted to talk about like what gets me out of those moments, and hopefully it can help you guys too, because sometimes it's really hard not to get wrapped up in what other people say to you, and in the end, that does just hold us back. What's been really huge for me lately is not taking advice from people that aren't in a position that I aspire to be in. Like a lot of these times, which is something that was so cool. I've been feeling this way and talking to different people about this for a while. But I know that's another thing that Sophia had said at the Women's Business Conference. Keynote speaker was talking about how there's so many people that will give you their opinion when honestly they don't have a right to. Like they don't have a right to give you not their negative opinion, just just to be doubting your idea when they haven't done something like that themselves. You guys know what I'm talking about. Like I am gonna t and even the people that are experienced, I'm going to take everything they say with a grain of salt. I'm not just going to listen to to their opinions because again, that's one thing that's gonna make my product stand out from others, is that it's going to be based on me, my values, and what I'm feeling in that moment, you know? And a lot of it is like gut intuition based. So that's that's what's gonna separate me from like these other products. But there you just get so many people telling you, like, I've had people tell me about my packaging, ingredients. There's just so many people that will tell you no because it hasn't been done that way before. Which, like, ding ding ding, that's more of a reason of why I'm pushing so hard and why other people and founders push so hard on ideas that haven't been done before. It's just because something has never been done like that before doesn't mean that it can't be. Which obviously does make the process a lot harder because you have to you have to look for people to work with that are open-minded and open to trying new things, but it has just hit my energy really hard lately. And I'd be lying if I didn't say that I get off phone calls or meetings sometimes where I get in my car or I close the laptop down and I just like sob. You know, like I literally will close it down and then just cry, which old me wouldn't have done that. I would just be pissed off and irritated in my everyday life and then just ignore it and suppress it, which you know, you can't do that. But what has really worked for me is not ignoring it and just like acknowledging it. Like I close the computer, I do whatever, get in my car, and I really just take a second. Like old me would have just picked up my phone and just started scrolling. But since everything is like intuition, gut-based, all of that, I want to sit with them be like, okay, how do I feel after that conversation? Is and even if I do know, even if I know like deep down that this is not what they said is not true, you know? If I do know that in my head, it's still hard when you're getting those energy punches from someone that hurt my feelings. So I will say that. I'll be like, okay, so that hurt my feelings. I do not feel good, I'm feeling this way, and I'll just acknowledge all of it. Sometimes I'll even say it out loud if I'm alone. And and and I'll just like sit there for a second, or I'll whatever like I want to do, I will indulge in in that moment. Nothing bad, okay. I'm like, but I will be like, okay, I what's big for me is treating myself. If I have a good day, I'm gonna treat myself. If I have a bad day, I'm gonna treat myself. One thing about me though, I will be treating myself, but especially if I have a bad day, because I like something to look forward to, like some like little treat. Like there's there's these cookies that I love. Like I will drive 15 minutes to go get the cookie because not only is it the is it the cookie, but it's also the process of like getting out of my space and just like moving my energy. Like after a phone call like that, I used to just try to like run it out. Not that I run, okay. I I literally mean like running in place, or like I would just like do some jumpy jacks, like shake it out. But sometimes I would still feel irritated. And sometimes at the end of the day, I still feel irritated even after all of these things, but it does just like it just like moves my energy around. Like your energy can get like stagnant and built up inside of you. So I think it is really important to just like do random things to shake that up. And for me, sometimes that is just driving and listening to music that I like. So like I will just drive, put on my favorite song, and that just brings me some ease. Or I will cry it out before. My process usually starts with like laying down, taking a second, do not disturb for a few minutes, crying if I feel like crying, just sitting in my emotions and then getting up and and like yeah, indulging in whatever I want to indulge in, which usually is a cookie. I've been obsessed with cookies lately. I don't know why. We're getting like a small Sunday and reminding myself that it's okay. And also another thing I like to do, not right all at once. I I honestly do just whatever feels best to me in the moment. It's just like usually one of these things, and I shuffle through them because I think it is good to remind yourself that you have options. Like a lot of these times, what gets me in this funk is I will just feel stuck, and I just won't feel, yeah, I just won't feel good. I will feel stuck. So what I like to do is remind myself I'm not stuck, shuffle through these options, get a cookie, I still do some jumping jacks, shake my body out, put on my favorite songs, go for a drive, take a shower. I don't care if it's like the middle of a day. If it's like if usually I shower late, like I don't know, 8, 9 p.m. But water is something that feels like it heals me a lot. So I will just like jump in the shower really quick, reset my body, do a three-minute meditation. Like these are all really good tools that I've been using lately to just like reset my energy, kind of that has made a huge difference. So I don't just feel stuck and that stay in that like negative place. Like sometimes I really I feel like it's just like lowering my body's vibration. Like I just feel like I can feel my body's energy just being like depleted after some of these talks. So that's another reason that I don't like doing a whole bunch of meetings in one day. I used to do like three video, I would have three video shoots in a day, or I would try to schedule all my business calls on one day, and my body would just be depleted for that entire week. My energy would be all over the place. So now I do not do that. I do no more than one video a day, or maybe two meetings a day, but I'll usually try to keep it to just one so I can really focus on how that meeting is making me feel. I hope some of those tools are useful for you guys and that you do implement them. And if you do, tell me how they feel because it has really made the biggest difference in my mood and my mindset and also my motivation. Mood, mindset, motivation. Ooh, 3Ms, that's cool. Yeah, I think that's that's kind of it. Me after rambling on for an hour. Yeah, that's kind of it. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode. Please don't forget to subscribe and leave a review too, whether you're on the Apple Podcast app or comment on YouTube, comment on Spotify. I do forget to respond to those, but please comment on there and I'll comment back. And don't forget to follow Busy Girl Era on TikTok and Instagram. I love you guys so much and thank you so much for listening. I am so excited to see where this podcast goes to announce cool, exciting, upcoming things for you guys. And I'm gonna do a post soon asking you guys what guests that you want to see on. So make sure you keep a lookout for that and stay busy, girl. I'll talk to you guys next time. Bye.